grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
