I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
