she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
