So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
