I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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