was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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