That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
