Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
