You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize