i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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