Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
