And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
