He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Never joke about your clitoris.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
