oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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