My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize