all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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