What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize