Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
