with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
