just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Still dying that you shit outside
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
