I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
