I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He kissed a someone with a penis
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We had to coat check the pizza.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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