so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
