Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
