kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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