Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize