wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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