Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
