Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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