I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
