Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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