It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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