What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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