yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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