Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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