I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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