I feel like abortions should bother me more
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
