Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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