I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize