it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my being single is dangerous.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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