Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
