He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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