Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
