apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
