Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize