Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I touched a dick in church today
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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