Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
