She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drinking out of a sandbucket again
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize