We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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