Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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