Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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