In the future we'll all be gay
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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