Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize