i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
