Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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