Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize