he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
third nipple confirmed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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