We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize