The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
