I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
