Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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