we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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