So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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