yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
