i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I want is dick and wine.
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