i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
