nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize